Wedding costs hit $36,000 average in 2026, but the median is around $13,195. More importantly, 88% of couples are contributing their own money, often combined with family contributions. When three families contribute different amounts with different expectations, financial transparency prevents misunderstandings.
We got engaged last year and immediately faced the question: how do we track money coming from four different sources (us, my parents, partner’s parents, and partner’s grandparents)?
The Multi-Stakeholder Account Structure
; Contribution tracking by source
2025-09-01 open Assets:Wedding:Fund
2025-09-01 open Income:Wedding:Contributions:OurSavings
2025-09-01 open Income:Wedding:Contributions:MyParents
2025-09-01 open Income:Wedding:Contributions:PartnerParents
2025-09-01 open Income:Wedding:Contributions:PartnerGrandparents
; Expense categories (venue is about 24% of budget)
2025-09-01 open Expenses:Wedding:Venue
2025-09-01 open Expenses:Wedding:Catering
2025-09-01 open Expenses:Wedding:Photography
2025-09-01 open Expenses:Wedding:Flowers
2025-09-01 open Expenses:Wedding:Attire
2025-09-01 open Expenses:Wedding:Music
2025-09-01 open Expenses:Wedding:Other
Recording Contributions
Each contribution gets explicit source tracking:
2025-10-01 * "Transfer" "Wedding fund - our contribution"
Assets:Wedding:Fund 8000 USD
Income:Wedding:Contributions:OurSavings -8000 USD
2025-10-15 * "Check" "Wedding gift from my parents"
Assets:Wedding:Fund 15000 USD
Income:Wedding:Contributions:MyParents -15000 USD
notes: "No strings attached per conversation"
That metadata is important. Some contributions come with expectations.
Tracking the Big Expenses
Venue and catering eat about 43% of budget combined:
2025-11-15 * "Grand Estate" "Venue deposit (50%)"
Expenses:Wedding:Venue 4500 USD
Assets:Wedding:Fund -4500 USD
2026-03-01 * "Grand Estate" "Venue balance"
Expenses:Wedding:Venue 4500 USD
Assets:Wedding:Fund -4500 USD
The Transparency Report
I generate a monthly summary for all stakeholders:
SELECT
ROOT(account, 3) as source,
SUM(position) as contributed
WHERE
account ~ "Contributions"
GROUP BY source
SELECT
ROOT(account, 2) as category,
SUM(position) as spent
WHERE
account ~ "Expenses:Wedding"
GROUP BY category
This shows who contributed what and where the money went. No surprises.
Setting Expectations
The hardest part was having the conversation upfront. We asked each family to contribute what they were comfortable with and to tell us if any contribution came with expectations (like inviting specific people).
Document everything in metadata:
2025-10-20 * "Check" "Partner grandparents contribution"
Assets:Wedding:Fund 5000 USD
Income:Wedding:Contributions:PartnerGrandparents -5000 USD
expectation: "Would like cousin Sarah invited"
agreed: TRUE
Questions
- How have others handled contributions with strings attached?
- Anyone dealt with mid-planning contribution changes?
- What about tracking gifts received at the wedding itself?