Getting Engaged Soon - Should I Wait to Start Beancount or Start Now?

General
1

Okay, I need some real talk here.

My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years. We’ve talked about getting engaged (probably in the next few months) and married within a year after that. We currently live together and split expenses 50/50 via Splitwise.

My Situation:

  • I’m a software developer who’s comfortable with the technical side
  • I’ve been meaning to start using Beancount for over a year
  • Currently I just… don’t track my finances at all (embarrassing, I know)
  • He uses Mint/Credit Karma casually but nothing serious

My Dilemma:

I’ve been putting off starting Beancount because I keep thinking:

“We’re going to combine finances soon anyway, so why set up a personal system I’ll just have to change?”

But then months pass and I still have no financial tracking.

Questions:

  1. Should I start Beancount now as a solo user? Even if I’ll need to restructure after marriage?

  2. How far back should I go? Do I need to import my whole history, or can I just start from today?

  3. Account naming for future flexibility: If I start now, should I already use something like Assets:Personal:Sarah:Checking to make the merge easier later? Or is that overthinking it?

  4. The engagement period: Should we open a joint account NOW (before engagement) to start tracking shared expenses? Or is that weird?

What I’m Actually Asking:

I think I’m using “we might merge soon” as an excuse to not start. But I also don’t want to do a bunch of work that I’ll throw away.

Those of you who went through this: What do you wish you had done earlier? What would you tell past-you?

Thanks for any advice. I’ve been lurking on the couples finance threads and you all seem to have figured this out way better than me. :sweat_smile:

2

Start now. Full stop.

You nailed it yourself: you’re using “we might merge soon” as an excuse. The perfect setup doesn’t exist, and waiting guarantees you’ll have even LESS data when you eventually do merge.

Answering Your Questions Directly:

1. Start Beancount now?

YES. Here’s why:

  • You’ll learn the tool on simpler data (just your accounts)
  • You’ll make mistakes now when the stakes are low
  • When you DO merge, you’ll be the expert guiding the process
  • Having 1-2 years of YOUR financial history is valuable

2. How far back to go?

Start from today (or Jan 1, 2026 for a clean starting point). Don’t import history. Here’s the secret: historical data is less valuable than you think.

What matters is:

  • Current balances (one-time opening entries)
  • Going-forward tracking
  • Building the habit
; Opening balances - no need for history
2026-01-01 open Assets:Checking
2026-01-01 * "Opening balance"
  Assets:Checking        5,432.10 USD
  Equity:Opening-Balances

You’re done. Now start tracking from today.

3. Account naming for future flexibility?

Keep it simple for now:

Assets:Checking
Assets:Savings
Liabilities:CreditCard
Expenses:Food

Don’t add Personal:Sarah: prefix yet. When you merge (maybe), you can do a find-replace. That’s 5 minutes of work later vs. awkward naming now.

4. Joint account before engagement?

This is a relationship question, not a Beancount question. But practically: many cohabiting couples have a joint account for rent/utilities even before engagement. It simplifies Splitwise.

If you do open one, just add it to your ledger:

Assets:Joint:Checking  ; Both of you contribute here

What I Wish I’d Done Earlier:

Started tracking while single. When I met my wife, I had zero financial history. She had spreadsheets going back 5 years. Guess who understood her spending patterns better during “The Money Talk”?

Just start. The best time was a year ago. The second best time is today.

3

Adding the practical/legal perspective on why starting NOW is valuable:

Pre-Marriage Financial Records Are Documentation

As I mentioned in the “Keep Some Accounts Separate” thread, premarital assets can remain separate property in most states. But you need to PROVE what you had before marriage.

If you start Beancount now, on your wedding day you’ll have:

  • Clear documentation of all your accounts
  • Historical balances showing what was “yours” before marriage
  • A baseline for future conversations

This isn’t about planning for divorce. It’s about having organized records.

What To Track Before Marriage

; Snapshot these values carefully
2026-01-29 balance Assets:Checking          8,432.10 USD
2026-01-29 balance Assets:Savings          15,000.00 USD
2026-01-29 balance Assets:Investments:401k  45,000.00 USD
2026-01-29 balance Assets:Investments:Roth  12,000.00 USD
2026-01-29 balance Liabilities:StudentLoans -22,000.00 USD

These numbers matter. Write them down. Beancount is a great way to do it.

On the Joint Account Question

From a purely practical standpoint, opening a joint account BEFORE engagement is fine. Millions of cohabiting couples do it.

Just understand:

  • Money in joint accounts is legally accessible by both parties
  • If you break up, splitting it can be messy without an agreement
  • Consider starting small (just rent/utilities) rather than putting everything in

One Suggestion for Structure

If you want to future-proof slightly without over-engineering:

; Use a simple prefix structure
Assets:Bank:Checking      ; Your personal checking
Assets:Bank:Savings       ; Your personal savings
Assets:Joint:Checking     ; Shared account (if you open one)

This is easy to rename later if needed, but keeps personal vs joint clear from the start.

4

As someone who started Beancount while dating (5+ years ago now), let me share what I wish I’d known:

Starting Before the Relationship Was the Best Decision

When my now-wife and I had our first serious money conversation, I could pull up:

  • My monthly spending trends for the past 2 years
  • My savings rate trajectory
  • My net worth history
  • Exactly what I owed and owned

She was impressed. It set the tone that I take finances seriously. It also made HER want to be more organized (though she never went full Beancount).

The “Restructure After Marriage” Fear is Overblown

Here’s my actual account rename when we merged:

# Total time: 10 minutes
sed -i 's/Assets:Checking/Assets:Personal:Fred:Checking/g' *.beancount
sed -i 's/Assets:Savings/Assets:Personal:Fred:Savings/g' *.beancount
sed -i 's/Assets:Investments/Assets:Personal:Fred:Investments/g' *.beancount
bean-check main.beancount  # Verify no errors

That’s it. Five years of history preserved, structure updated in minutes.

My Actual Regret

I didn’t track EXPENSES granularly enough early on. I had:

Expenses:Food
Expenses:Shopping
Expenses:Other

Should have had:

Expenses:Food:Groceries
Expenses:Food:DiningOut
Expenses:Food:Coffee
Expenses:Household:Supplies
Expenses:Household:Furniture

When we merged, she wanted more category detail, and I couldn’t give good historical data because I’d been lazy with categorization.

Bottom Line

Start today. Use simple account names. Focus on building the habit. The merge (if it happens) is easy. The years of missing data is not recoverable.